kinslayer | 6 - [Voice]

Entry tags:

6 - [Voice]

[The PCD clicks on and Itachi's voice, still feminine, speaks up.]

Wari-san I have the materials you need. When would you like them?

[Rustling of paper, and the voice turns disdainful.]

Kakashi-san, if I find your erotic literature on the table again, I will burn it. I don't even want to touch it.

Be glad I found it before Yachiru-kun did.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Al holds up a finger and beams.]

No, no-- now you have to tell me. Especially with a buildup like that.

... Very well, Alphonse-kun. If you insist.

[Itachi opens his eyes and stares at the screen full on, eyes red, face still.]

I am tired. Very, very tired. I believe my judgment may be severely impacted for a number of reasons.

Nevertheless I will finish my thought.

I wish you would stop reminding me what it is like to be human.

You accuse me of being cruel.

[For a long time, Al just stares at the screen. He blinks a few times, rather fast, as if he's trying to hold back tears, but none ever show. His expression is tight. Several times it seems like he's about to say something, but then he doesn't.]

You... are... human, Itachi.

I don't know why you've chosen to believe that you have to deny yourself happiness, but you do deserve it.

You deserve to laugh and smile and have friends, and be loved. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[Al blinks, and a tear falls from his right eye, leaving a shimmering line down the side of his cheek, but his eyes are deadly serious.]

Especially yourself.

[Itachi watches Al on the PCD for a while, his expression empty, more drained than distant--detached from everything. including himself. There's a deep, deep weariness there.]

I deserve?

[No emotion or heat, just irony and sadness.]

You have no idea what I deserve, Alphonse-kun. You have no idea what I have made myself, willingly, knowingly.

Laughing, smiling, loving, having friends? I traded those for something else a long time ago. I knew what I was doing. Do not pity me. Do not dare.

It was worth it. No matter what I become, it was worth it Alphonse-kun.

But I wish you would stop reminding me of what I was--your compassion is sweet but misguided.

[Al closes his eyes for a time, and sighs softly, almost soundlessly.]

You're so preoccupied with strength, Itachi. Strength, and your own ideals.

Maybe you thought it was something better, but are you happy? Are you really and truly happy?

...

Here in this world, many of your problems will have vanished even if some remain. There are no more outside issues. It's a chance to make a new start for yourself. You're so concerned with the past, Itachi. You don't have to forget, but you can't walk into the future backwards.

You're always trying to tell me to be who I truly am. Maybe it's time to start listening to your own advice, just a little bit.

[Itachi closes his eyes and leans his forehead into his palm.]

Stop it.

[His voice is openly tired, weary, bordering on resigned.]

Please.

[Al stops right away, and after a moment shifts forwards, touching the PCD.]

Okay.

[There is the smallest hint of a smile behind that hand, but it is not a happy smile. It is an upturn of lips in an ironic expression of extreme pain, deeply buried, but there. Itachi's voice is soft, mild.]

Thank you.

... Itachi... if I offered, next time we're around each other, and there's nobody there...

... would you let me give you a hug?

[Itachi actually makes something of a choked noise in the back of his throat, and his hand moves to cover his eyes. Part of his mouth and chin are visible, and his lips are pulled back, teeth clenched together in what could be a snarl, or a grimace, or pain; with the rest of his face hidden behind his hand it's hard to tell.

He says nothing for a few minutes, silent and tense before he replies, voice cracking. For Itachi's cool reserve the crack is almost like wild hysteria.]

Sure. Why not?

[Al's voice suddenly becomes soft, gentle, comforting.]

Okay... shhh, don't worry...

[If it were anyone else, Al would keep talking, or hum softly, or put an arm around them, but he's not there and can't do the last one so he stays silent for several heartbeats. He whispers, and it's barely audible.]

Oh, Itachi...

[Al closes his eyes, and his voice comes back, loud enough to be heard clearly, but still soft.]

... do you want to be left alone, or should I stay...?

[Itachi's head tilts forward and for about a minute his face is entirely obscured by his hand and hair. Then he drops his hand away and looks at the PCD, face once again completely blank, calm, not even a hint of emotion in his eyes or voice.

It doesn't look like he was crying at all, his eyes are dry and don't look puffy or red. It's like he took everything and shut it down completely, returned to coldness like flipping a switch. Even his voice is back to the polite indifference.]

Thank you Alphonse-kun, but I am fine. I believe I simply need sleep. Your offer is appreciated.

[Al takes a breath, watching him carefully. Almost in response, Al's expression shuts off, though his eyes remain alive, calculating, searching Itachi, looking for some sort of clue to what he may be feeling. His voice is hushed and gentle, but not patronizing.]

All right. Go ahead and sleep.

[Itachi smiles, and it is an entirely empty and polite expression. His eyes might as well belong to a corpse.]

Good night Alphonse-kun. Do not stay up too late.

[Itachi reaches forward and clicks off the PCD with those words.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

6 - [Voice]

[Private to Itachi // Unhackable]

[Private to Al // Unhackable]

[Private to Itachi // Unhackable]

[Private to Al // Unhackable]

[Private to Itachi // Unhackable]

[Private to Al // Unhackable]

[Private to Itachi // Unhackable]

[Private to Al // Unhackable]

[Private to Itachi // Unhackable]

[Private to Al // Unhackable]

[Private to Itachi // Unhackable]

[Private to Al // Unhackable]

[Private to Itachi // Unhackable]

[Private to Al // Unhackable]